Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ug, shopping!

I heard that Sears was having a 75-80% off sale this week to get rid of their winter stock. Who doesn't love a bargain??? But I'm not a happy shopper. I like to go in, whisk through, and get out, especially in this little town where the inventory doesn't change all that often.

My 86 year old mother has always been able to out-shop me. She can go for hours, and these days usually does. She doesn't drive anymore so I take her once a week to go into 2 or 3 different stores so she can peruse the merchandise. She doesn't get out much, so I try to be patient as she takes 10 minutes to inspect something that she will have no interest in buying. Her memory is definitely on the down swing, and so if we go into the same store the next week, it's like seeing all new stuff again for her. If I go a few aisles over to look at something that caught my eye, she'll call me from where she is. Not with a phone. Just stand there and call my name.

For a while when we'd go into a big store, we'd both go our own ways, but then I had a hard time finding her, and when I did, I found that she was going back and forth across the store and back again because she forgot something on the other side. She'd get angry and frustrated because in her confusion, she couldn't find something. It's just easier if we stay together.

When she moved down here 4 years ago, I'd take her shopping 2 or 3 times a week, but I would lose my mind if I had to do that today. Does that sound mean?

So today, I will try to stay focused and compassionate while she searches for the perfect pair of pants, or shoes that she never seems to find.


Janice said...

You're a good daughter. Just because you get frustrated doesn't mean you don't love her, and just because you love her doesn't mean you don't get frustrated! Trust me, I know of what I speak.

shabby girl said...

You are a wonderful friend!

Simply Heather said...

:o) I understand!

No, it's not mean to feel as you do. My mother was the lady in the store for hours, picking up one thing and studying it, up and down every aisle to be sure she didn't miss a thing. I am like you, in and out as quicky as can be. There are times when I'm not sure what I'm after and I usually get terribly frustrated with myself because I can't find I give in to "good enough".

I am horribly impatient with shopping. I get through the grocery store, half way and want to call it quits. It's a good thing that most of the food items are in the beginning :o)...hmmm...

Hubby is even less of a shopper than I am but is more patient about not settling for "good enough's".

Many of us can understand your feelings here and have also wondered if it seems mom would take us picking at her about lolly-gagging through the aisles, she took it well.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

This phase in our lives is a very tough one, and you can only see and find the humour in it where you can - It's the only way through, Shabstress... Sending you love and blessings as a great daughter! x

septembermom said...

Shopping with your mom is definitely an experience to remember!! You're a great daughter and shopping buddy for her. I hope you find some terrific bargains! Love a sale :)

shabby girl said...

Yea!!! Halleluliah! 3 1/2 hours later, she has pants! She may return them, but tonight, she has pants!
Thank you so much for your support and understanding. Truly, it helps me!

Scriptor Senex said...

Mum and Dad came to live with us in their nineties and things like shopping expeditions were a real trial but with hindsight I don't regret a single one. That doesn't meant to say they become fun in hindsight but it means that no matter what I felt I did my duty - and with a smile. There's an enormous sense of satisfaction to be got from that. I just hope there is someone there to do the same for me when I am old(er).... It won't matter that we will both know it's a trial for them - what will matter is that the job is done and the frustration ignored for the longer term benefit of satisfaction.

Anonymous said...

My Grandma is like that when we go shopping, but the important thing is that we do go, no matter how frustrating it may be.

It is OK if you don't go as often as you used to, after all you are still spending time with her at least once a week, and I am sure that she appreciates it

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