Because we have the house up for sale, I've started going through cabinets, drawers, little tucked away places, imagining that I will be getting rid of stuff, and I will because I have to! I have hoarded magazines that I really liked. I'm talking, stacked vertically, about 2 ft. worth. Garage sale fodder, I say today. Someone will like them as much as I did.
But, here's the coolest thing about scaling back and having to go through each & every thing, and cubbyhole in my house. I am one of those people that have, what I consider, for me, brilliant insights about my own life; light bulb moments. It's only taken me 57 years to get to this point. LOL! But all along the way, whatever I was feeling, ended up on a little scrap of paper, tucked away for the light of day, sometime in the future. Not just "my" thoughts, but fantastic phrases, quotes, and feelings of others.
A couple of years ago, I purchased a notebook; a cheap, pretty, very shabby notebook, knowing that sometime in the future I would find a fulfilling use for it. I did today. I pulled it out, and because it is divided into three sections, started filling it up with these lightbulb moments of my own, other peoples bits of wisdom, and an important blank section for whom's purpose, I have yet to determine.
I gotta tell you, I am feeling absolutely sated by this tonight. Mostly because I also ran across a notebook that I had in the door pocket of my car for years. For several of those years, it was the hardest, most emotional, and extremely trying time for me and my family. I spewed every angry word, ugly thought, and tear streaked proclamation into that notebook. Nobody knew about that but me. It was my safe place to let go of all of the craziness I felt going on around me. It was a comfort for me.
At some point, I decided that it was not healthy for me to hang on to those writings. Time goes on, right? I reread each one of my entries and tore the page from the notebook, threw them away. And, truth be told, I felt good about it at the time.
Holding that notebook in my hands today, I feel the emotions in it still. I'm sorry that I tossed away those tidbits of my life. I'll never be able to go back and capture my words, my feelings from those days that, along with the good times, make up my life.