One of my struggles these days is figuring out the assisted living arrangement for my mother. She is in an independent living environment right now. In this same compound is an assisted living side.
She’s ready. Her day to day living is getting more difficult for her as her body weakens and her breathing is harder. She has wonderful doctors up there. One of the doctors helped me explain that it’s time to move to assisted living. I so appreciate that. Although we had spoken about it numerous times, it was as if she thought I was pushing her to the end of life. She’s had a couple of mild falls that left her cut and bruised, but it tells me that it’s time for her to have more help. She’s more inclined to make that move after those falls. It’s hard now because she doesn’t feel good and is unsteady.
There are limited funds that may take her through, but may not. I’ve been looking in to programs that might help kick in should she run out of money. For some reason, these decisions get left up to me. But I don’t want the sole responsibility of this particular decision.
I have 4 brothers. My oldest brother talks to my mom frequently but lives out of state. Two other brothers talk to her infrequently (also out of state). The other brother has been out of the picture for many years.
Well, today I laid it out in an email to my brothers. I need help with this. I don’t want to make the decision alone. How about some help researching some programs? We all need to think about the actual move. It is so obvious that she needs the extra help that assisted living will provide. But because it involves what’s left of her money, I think we should all be involved. And truth be told, I can’t imagine that they would not think this is a good move for her. We’ll see. I don’t ask for help very often. In fact when I moved her up there to independent living, I pretty much did most of the packing myself. I asked my brother if he could help me unpack at the other end, but he had plans already, but did come a couple of weeks later to hang pictures.
So, I feel good about asking. I didn’t have to, they probably would have been fine had I just gone ahead and got her moved. But what happens if the money is gone, what would she do then, and I hadn’t asked them? So this is good. Maybe I’ll sleep tonight.