Yes, day one of my orchid opening. Six years ago, Hubby came home with this for my birthday. I've never owned an orchid before this one. I'm no better at taking care of it today than I was six years ago. It's still in its crunched up little pot, roots sticking out all over the place, but it continues to burst forth in blossom for me, still.
What does that say? In spite of "not so great circumstances" we all still have the opportunity to bloom? I don't know. Now that I read that last sentence, it's pretty cliche. And lame. Must I read something into everything?
My mind these days is a convaluted mess, full of worry, over-thinking, and indecision. I'm questioning my motives and my choices; way too much going on. I'm eating all the time. I'm not hungry. Not in the normal "need to fuel my body" sense. I know something else is going on. Stuffing feelings? Maybe, but it doesn't feel like that's it. Trying to feed something that is lacking? Maybe, but that, too, doesn't feel quite right. I have a sense of it, but can't quite put my finger on it. Anxiety. There it is. Not just about myself, but everyone in my life, and the situations we all find ourselve in.
I guess that when I was young, I thought that everything would work out perfectly, everyone would be happy, settled, leading the kind of life that we thought of as "happy" back in the 50's & 60's. Well, okay, not in the 60's. Ha! I lived those. Do you get what I mean though? Sometimes I feel so naive.
My life is good. Really. But I do feels some responsibility in how others in my life are proceeding with theirs. Am I eating to stay afloat, above the worries and concerns of those I love? Or do I eat to not feel the angst of hunger for what I want for them, as well as for myself?
I have no answers. What I do know is that God keeps showing me that circumstances are never perfect. But they don't have to be. Life blooms anyway, maybe not in the way that we pictured, but they do bloom.