Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Things Way Too Seriously

- A day without sunshine is like...night.

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

- On the other hand, you have different fingers

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot

.- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

- Remember, half the people you know are below average

.- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

- OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark?

- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

- Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

- Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your bum tomorrow.

- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.